Tuesday, March 4, 2014
The Happiness Killer | Comparison
Scrolling through Facebook, I see a big lush bouquet. Turn to Instagram I see someone's brand new house they built and just how gorgeous it is. Trickle my way through Twitter and I see someone who tweet about going to the spa for the day with their BFFs.
My thoughts go from oh how nice to, wow, I wish I could afford that house.. *sad face* and then "Wahh I want a spa day but I work too much.
See what I did there? I compared my life to what I see other people posting on social media. And that my friends, is what steals your joy.
I am comparing my real life to what people are posting all across the mediums of social media. Which is just plain silly. As humans, we are sometimes prone to bragging and showing off all our grand things. And for the most part, that is what Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest and even Facebook are for. Showing everyone your life.
But what most people forget is, you see the highlights. The highlights of their day that led them to the spa. The highlights of what it took to get to that place to build that house. The highlights of why they received that big bouquet of flowers from their significant other.
For all we know, the couple had a slight disagreement the night before and the husband was sweet enough to bring home flowers. And the people building the house worked 2 jobs each, barely saw each other just to afford what they really wanted. The spa day might be a necessary escape from the stress of life, or a mom moment which I hear can be a rare opportunity.
My husband and I are trying really hard to budget our money and save for the house we want. It's so easy for me to compare how hard we are working to other people's brand new house. Easy for me to be jealous of everything they have because they receive help from their parents while we are doing this on our own.
I can then enter that wah wah wah, it's not fair, 5 year old version of myself. Stomping feet sometimes included.
Day after day, I go to a job I know I am better than. I apply, interview and nothing. It's so easy for me to look at everyone that is settled in their careers and where they are professionally and throw fits. That just makes this whole process even harder when I lead myself to those thoughts. I am where I am for a reason. Obviously, on the fast track to be a MILF.
My husband is great at doing simple, little things for me. He gets me flowers on holidays but taking out the trash and washing dishes are the equivalent of a bouquet of flowers any day. And I do not need to compare my marriage to another couples. My relationship with how me and my husband relate to how another husband and wife relate.
As for the spa day, yes, please. I have a gift certificate calling my name to use it. Penciling that in now so I can Instagram, Tweet, Facebook about it...
Don't compare where you are to where somebody else already is. Compare where you are to where you have been.