When planning a wedding, you have all kinds of checklists. There's the one year checklist, 6 month checklist, honeymoon checklist, one month checklist and 2 week checklist.They all contain something you need to check off in order to prepare for that walk down the aisle. Because without one item done everything will fall apart, right?

There is just one little {huge} thing that is never included in all of those checklists. And it is one of the most important things you should do to start off your marriage.

Prepare for your financial future.

It's not as glamorous as picking the right amount of diamonds in your hairpiece or as fun as what bikini to pack for your tropical vacation but it's one of those important things you need after the newlywed dust settles. Many millennials are just one step away from financial disaster due to increasing health care costs and no financial planning. You do not want to be a part of that statistic.

In fact, Aflac found that 72% of millennial workers at least somewhat agree they regularly underestimate the cost of an injury or illness, including medical, household and out of pocket expenses. guilty.

Once you are married, you only have 30 days to change your health insurance. Subtract the two weeks of honeymoon bliss and that only leaves you with a small window of two weeks to get everything settled and changed. And you thought the stress was over after the wedding day.

Do this instead. aka what we wish we had done.

Take a night, sit down with your fiance and really figure out your health benefits and what is financially responsible for your family. Chances are you have coverage through your current employer and want to see if it's better to keep separate or be on one insurance plan.

• Coverage-It isn't just a funny newlywed joke, the kitchen can be dangerous and cost a few stitches. What's the emergency room care look like? If you are planning on having children right away, check the maternity coverage. This will also help you decide between PPO, HRA, HSA.
• Premiums-Really look at each of your health plans. What are you currently being covered for? Who is paying more for each benefit and where can you cut back. Many times you are able to figure out a way to cut down your premiums if you talk with your insurance company. For example, 2 years ago I had extra dental coverage because I hate the dentist and didn't go for 5 years so I knew there would be serious work that had to be done. Now that it was all taken care of, I was able to switch to the basic dental plan and save money every month.
• Deductibles-Having a large deductible means you need to have that money on hand to pay until your insurance will pay. There needs to be money saved to be able to pay back until you hit your deductible. Currently, I have a $500 deductible so I know that's money I am responsible for and need to keep tucked away for medical costs. Due to a small foot problem, I am half way there within the past few months so it pays to be prepared.

If you find that your current coverage isn't the greatest, Aflac offers voluntary insurance policies, which are designed to supplement major medical plans, pay policyholders directly for unexpected costs associated with a covered serious illness, injury or loss. In addition, the cash benefits can be used to help pay rent, gas, groceries, child care or any other out-of-pocket expenses a worker may have. Aflac also offers accident, dental, life, vision, cancer, hospital intensive care and more voluntary insurance policies.

Umbrella to cover us.

Once you have the health insurance figured out, you aren't done there securing your finances. There are a few other things you need to look at before you enter wedded bliss.

• Retirement. 401ks. Do you have one set up? How much are you putting into it every paycheck? This is an important part of starting a new family with your spouse, planning for your future down the road. It also helps secure your retirement and not wondering what you will do for money once you retire.
• Debt. Like many millennials, we are racked with student loan debt that we are trying to pay down. I also had credit card debt lingering that we finally paid off just a few months ago. It's important to know what debt each of you carries that will need to pay for every month.
• Budget. It's hard. It's tedious. But it will help you anticipate unexpected costs and be able to put more into savings and more into debt every month. We didn't actually do this until a few months after we were married but I wish we had done it sooner. 

As important as it planning the biggest day of your life, financial planning before the I Do's is extremely important. You will be ready to take on that first year of marriage for sure.

The first year of marriage is a fun ride

Did you do financial planning before you started your marriage?



I was selected for this opportunity as a member of Clever Girls Collective and the content and opinions expressed here are all my own.

When an Introvert Marries an Extrovert

By nature, I was born an introvert. I had my years where I fought against it but it was always there. I craved taking a break, taking a night to myself. The typical introvert. 

An introvert is a person who is energized by being alone and whose energy is drained by being around other people.

In college, I always wanted to know when my roommate wasn't going to be in the room and took that time to really enjoy the room. Even if there was a huge party going on. I need to recharge by myself.

My husband is the definition of an extrovert. He loves people. Being around people. Talking to people. Making small talk. All the things that make me cringe.

 An extrovert is a person who is energized by being around other people. This is the opposite of an introvert who is energized by being alone.

It might sound like these two types of people could never exist, but in fact, it has been shown that these two types of people make the perfect couple. As if we needed to be told that.

Basic rundown of what happens when an introvert marries an extrovert:

|| Wants to go out when you just want to sit on the couch and watch a movie

|| After work, writing calms you and they just want to talk about the day.But living out the whole day has already drained you.

|| People and crowds are their thing. For you, crowds and people make you want to sit in the corner.

|| Center of attention is the ultimate goal. But for you, when all eyes are on you, all kinds of uncomfortable happens. Wedding day, anyone?


But, fear not introverts. Marrying an extrovert has its rewards.

-Like he will be the one organizing your social calendar so you actually have fun activities on your weekends off. Otherwise, you might just sit at home watching Grey's Anatomy on Netflix. Embrace the nights out, to allow him to air the extrovertness. And give you the experiences you actually do want before kids.

-He teaches you just how to deal with the attention a little more. Let's not go overboard and say you love it, but you learn to appreciate the fact that people enjoy your company and want to get to know you. You will get used to them wanting to flaunt you around and brag about your life. Allow them to boast a little. He will go deep, while you stay surface. You will learn from him.

-He gives you that confidence you might lack when going after what you really want. Teachings in how to be awesome. When they go up to people, listen to him, feed off of what he is saying.



And for your extroverts. An introvert can really slow you down and let your grow, in the best way possible.

-Like realizing how nice it is to take time to recollect yourself after an exhausting day. Rather than jump right into a days recap. Let the introvert have some moments to themselves. Acknowledge that they need that.

-Teaching you just how great it is to have hobbies and be by yourself. All hobbies. They really are stress relievers that you can have by yourself and can be fun. Start a hobby with your introvert. Make it a couples date. Make it fun and another way to allow your introvert to recharge away from a group.

-Allowing you to realize that you are your best self. With or without the approval of others. And other people cheering you on. You are your biggest cheerleader.  Let an introvert teach you how to be your own cheerleader, but help them reach out to others for help.


With any relationship, it's always an adjustment. Learning the way to your introvert/extroverts heart is another one of the adjustments. But the rewards allow for a much greater growth in your marriage.

What have you encountered in an introvert/extrovert relationship?

The Definition of Marriage

Many people have a set standard for what marriage means: The union of a man and wife, who make a promise to each other to love each other and honor each. Or as the definition goes:

The legal union of a couple as spouses.  The basic elements of a marriage are: (1) the parties' legal ability to marry each other, (2) mutual consent of the parties, and (3) a marriage contract as required by law.

Right and wrong. Society has a way of telling us exactly what marriage is or should be made up of.

In my almost, 365 days of marriage, I have learned that there is no set definition of marriage. My marriage isn't like your marriage or my neighbor's marriage. It isn't what society is telling us our marriage should be.

My marriage?

I call it being with my best friend forever. Seeing every superhero movie on opening day. Enjoying weekend trips and vacations. Spontaneous dance parties. Sushi love.

I also get to wear these fancy rings on my finger for that reason. But hey, maybe rings don't work for you.

And marriage to someone else might be a completely different definition.

It might be two men, deeply in love, battling the stereotypes of society not letting them have that ultimate right to be recognized as married. But to them, it doesn't matter. To them they are married. They are committed.

Marriage might mean Nerf wars every Wednesday. Or maybe it's just Friday night snuggles on the couch. When you get married, if you want to slow down, slow down. If you want to still have nights out with friends, have nights out with friends.

Maybe it's a fast track on the baby train. Or the slow route or no route to the baby train. Marriage doesn't have to mean babies, babies, babies. {More on this conundrum in the future}

Your first year of marriage is about defining your marriage. Coming up with your own definition of what husband and wife means and being the best of both of those. But I will tell you what we have started to define our marriage as.

|| Being there for each other when there are good days and especially when there are bad days. It's important to let your husband or wife know you are their biggest supporter and biggest support system.

|| Understand each other and your new roles. Being the best husband and the best wife takes time. It doesn't just happen because you signed a paper and put the rings on your finger. Acknowledge that these roles will take time to evolve into what they are truly meant to be. Housewife status has not been acquired here, yet.

|| Be problems solvers, together. Work together to find the best solutions. Take into consideration the other person's wants and needs. Marriage does mean working together towards a common goal. Figure out what that goal is.

We have realized this past year, society, friends, family, can't define our marriage for us. We have to decide what we want our marriage to be and work hard on it to get there. Make our own definition of marriage. 

What's your definition of marriage? 

The 5 Love Languages for Newlyweds

When Brian and I moved in together, there were a lot of tasks we did differently than each other. For example, he washes dishes right after dinner where I throw them in the dishwasher or leave them until morning. When I clean, I turn on a good Kesha mix and drift from room to room where Brian likes his party mix to be playing and tackles one room at a time. It took some time to get used to these differences but we have fallen into them after living together over a year.

We all have different processes, different ways of doing things. It should be no surprise that we feel love in different ways and expect to be loved in different ways. It's our own Love Language. And just as we have different processes, we all have different love languages we need to adapt to.


Gary Chapman introduced the Love Languages in his bestselling book, "The 5 Love Languages."  He tells us that each person has their own love language and being shown their language allows for a more satisfied and deeper connection.

As newlyweds, I think this is a fantastic tool. The first year of marriage, you are really learning the other person as your spouse. It's a different kind of love that you need to be able to learn to show for the rest of your life.

There are 5 Love Languages you can have, one being your most dominant and therefore, your love language. As newlyweds, here is how you can adapt your Love Language to your newlywed year of marriage.


Acts of Service
My Love Language

Cleaning the kitchen, vacuuming floors, taking out the trash. All say I love You to to this Love Language. It's showing you care by easing them of the burden of these tasks. And anything that adds to your burden shows you care less about this person's feelings.

Newlyweds: Make a list of what tasks you would like your spouse to be doing. Compare notes and adjust. Remember all the small acts of love you did back when you were dating; they would work now.



 

Quality Time 
Brian's Love Language

This is about spending time with this person but not just that. They want meaningful conversation with depth. It also means turning off the phone, really being there and in the moment with your partner. All of this shows them you care. Where being constantly distracted shows just the opposite.

Newlyweds: Communicate to really understand each other during your first year of marriage. Any frustrations, joys that may arise. Putting date nights into your budget and calendar. Putting your new spouse first.

Words of Affirmation

Just simply saying, "I Love You" is enough for some people that love with this language. They just want genuine compliments to know how much you truly care. And any negative comments can really hurt this person, more than most.

Newlyweds: Love notes with "husband" or "wife" written around your home. Not raising your voice during the first year squabbles. Forgive as the first year of marriage is all a learning experience.

Physical Touch
Holding hands, a brief peck on the cheek or just a good cuddle is all this person is looking for. It doesn't always have to lead to more intimate physical acts. Just feeling your presence is all this person asks for to demonstrate love. 

Newlyweds: This might not be the hardest thing you have to do the first year ;) Holding hands on date nights, a hug everyday when you get home from work, a nice massage. Just physical signs to say "I Love You."

Receiving Gifts
This doesn't mean the person judges love by material things, it can even be a simple gesture that demonstrates it. A homemade card, making dinner or remembering little moments from your relationship. This person loves the thought that goes behind all of these the most and that is how they see the love from you.
Newlyweds: All the "firsts" matter. 1st Christmas, 1st date night, 1st birthday. Making them special with your own personal touch would go a long way. And it doesn't have to break your budget!







Since we have taken this test, we have truly looked at the love language of each of us. When we are watching tv or a movie, I try to put the phone down, step away from Twitter and cuddle with Brian. Working nights and weekends on occasion, have me missing these special moments and the opportunity to show him love at those moments. I need to make more of an effort to understand his love language.

Brian has really taken to helping me out around the apartment even more since we have discussed this. He celebrates his own wins  "Hey! Look! I took out the trash!" and I do too. I love him for doing it and for being so receptive to understanding how we each feel love. It has definitely helped me feel less of a burden when he is taking on extra chores or responsibilities.

If you are married and haven't taken the Love Languages quiz, I strongly suggest you do. It really has opened our eyes to how the other person wants to be loved and we have already adjusted how we do things. And it actually doesn't take as much convincing as I thought for the husbands!

What is your love language? Do you agree with your results?

How to Set a Budget in 5 Steps

Budgeting. Not a very fun thing. We were bad adults and didn't really set a budget until a few months ago. It was more of a, How in the heck do we set a budget? rather than simply just not wanting to.

In the end it actually wasn't as hard as I thought. It took a little legwork of about an hour, but I did get to play with highlighters! This is what I did to finally tackle the dreaded budget.

Gather Supplies
...Bank statement, credit card bills. I even went deep and took all the Target receipts and assessed the amount of fun, groceries, etc.

 ...Highlighters. Choose as many colors as you need, depending on how you want to break up categories.

Here is how I used each color of my highlighters

Orange-Student loans
Purple-Bills/Utilities
Green-Groceries/Food
Blue-Fun

...Monthly Budget Planner.

Calculate

...Monthly income. Any income that comes in the form of a check to your household.

...The categories. Time to really dig deep and see the number form in each category. The fun and groceries were our biggest "ouch." We knew it wasn't going to be pretty once we arrived at the final number.

Subtract

...From your monthly income, subtract anything that is a set expense. These are the student loans, monthly credit card bills, some utilities. The amount you are left with after this....This is now your NEW MONTHLY INCOME.

Why? This is the amount you have left to work with every month and is a realistic look at how you really need to be budgeting for non essential items. It will help cut down on some of the larger spent categories from step 2.

...From your NEW MONTHLY INCOME; subtract the rest of your expenses from the previous month. get ready, this might hurt. Similar to ripping off a band-aid. It came as a shock to us how little we had left to go into our savings and made a lot of sense why we were struggling with that.

Evaluate

...Where is the category out of control. Shocker, it will most often be your fun category. This is eating out, going out, picking up movies, shopping at Target (ouch). It will have the most wiggle room for you to cut back on.

...Where can you cut down your spending Groceries came in a close second for us after "fun." Coupons might be an option or starting up a meal plan so you aren't digging into that fun category too. Really look at what fits within your lifestyle to cut back on. We even looked into how we might be able to get rid of our cable. Still working on that one but I'm trying to cut that back.

Set goals

Now that you have seen how much you spent last month in the Fun category, set a goal for how much less you want to have in that category by the end of this month. Do this for every category that is not set.

...make an action plan for each of these. To cut down on fun and groceries, we made the plan to utilize coupons when we are able to and to plan out our meals to cut down on groceries and eating take out.

Congratulations, you now have a budget!!! Take a deep breath. You can do it. You will do it and save yourself a lot of moola.

Newlywed Valentine's Day Gift Guide

Your very first Valentine's Day as a married couple is very special. Not only is it the first time you can buy those cute husband and wife Valentine's, but also the Valentine's Day you will reminisce about in the future. It's the first time you are celebrating with you"Forever Valentine."

Now that I've really piled on the pressure for you newlyweds to make this a special day, I have done some leg work for you if you are still trying to come up with the perfect gift.

*hint: Listen up guys and gals*

1.Wifey Sweatshirt- Guys, any new wife would love to receive anything that declares her as your wife. And this is the cutest one I've seen. 

2. Wedding Picture Frame-There isn't any newlywed Mrs. that wouldn't love a frame for all those wedding pictures she has. Easy peasy, fellas.

3. Cuddle Kit for 2-Dating Divas came up with this cute idea for a night in. If you are constantly on the go or setting Financial Goals like most newlyweds, this is a special but cost efficient way to celebrate Valentine's Day with your new Mr. or Mrs.

4. Romantic Dinner-Getting dressed up for a night on the town is a great way to celebrate your first Valentine's Day. Or maybe find a new recipe you can cook together at home. That can then lead to some dessert ;)

5. Victoria's Secret-Speaking of dessert...it's all about sexy when you are newlyweds so ladies, cook up something super sexy for your new husband on your first Valentine's Day. 

6. Panty Wreath- And if you are struggling with a sexy idea to amp up your Valentine's Day, this is the perfect option. All you need is a Styrofoam wreath, ribbon and your best panties. It will make your first Valentine's Day unforgettable.

7. Man Bag-Treat your man to a nice "man things" bag filled with naughty or Nice things to tell him how much you love him.

8. Man bouquet- Ladies, as he gets you flowers, throw together this nice bouquet just for your man. He will thank you for it.

Newlywed Financial Goals

One of the fun things you get to do when you get married is share finances. It means figuring out who pays what and who saves what. Join account or separate accounts. What's your debt look like compared to mine? Can we afford to this or how about that?

My husband is a GREAT saver. Me on the other hand, not so much. It pains him to see money coming out the account where I just tend not to look. I know, not very grown up. But we are both guilty of not adding up all the little things we purchase.

As we are trying to save more money for a house and every other dream we have, I know I have to get my grown up saver self into gear. We recently decided to open a joint bank account but still have our own separate accounts as we ease into this married financial business. For 2014, we will be adjusting our finances and developing goals for us, and any newlyweds, to get on a great financial path for the future as husband and wife.

1. Saving for the Future

To start, I am personally hoping to save well over 2 thousand this year to put towards our future. It might not seem like a lot but to me, that's a huge feat because I can name all the things I could buy with that money instead. It is just for me because as I said, I have a hard time saving money so I need to make a habit for just myself of saving.

I was so excited when I saw Mandy at House of Rose was hosting a 52 Week Money Saving Challenge. I pinned this challenge about a year ago and never really got around to looking more into it. This was exactly the incentive I needed.

If you haven't see the 52 Week Challenge, it is 52 Week (or a year) challenge to get you to save money with very little put away every week.

via

I have already set up my automatic transfers to go through every week into my savings account. I even added a little extra every few weeks to achieve that 2 thousand goal I have in mind. And it isn't a lot every week that you would miss but at the end of the year, you will have just that extra to really feel great about what you saved!

2. Making a Budget
As of this very moment, we do not have any sort of budget for how we spend our money. Do we know how much we make and how much our bills cost? Yes. But beyond that, nada. I know, tisk tisk. Definitely not the way to start a marriage of financial success.

So this month, we are spending sort of how we normally do, with a little caution, and saving all receipts. We will then see how much we actually spend in a month. Especially on the Dunkin runs, nights out and other little trips we make that actually add up. Then from there, we will assess where we need to cut back and what we can save on and really set limits for our spending. And I am willing to bet most will be for me. But I accept my spending ways and am ready to change.

Really sit down and see where your money is going every month. Where can you save that money? Options can be anything from buying less bottled and getting a filter or even using the car that has the better gas mileage on all trips to save gas money.

3. Adjusting the Grocery Bill

The kitchen is our biggest money eater at this point. Grocery shopping drains our account every month. So much so, I am a little embarrassed to share the number we spend for just 2 people. So, I am jumping on the meal planning train. My friends tell me how much money it saves them because they shop just for those meals. And I know it will help with those nights we are all too tempted to order takeout. We are also guilty of throwing out food that goes bad because we do not use it.

To also help bring down the grocery bill, coupons will be entering my life. I am not talking crazy couponer here because this apartment can barely fit the normal amount of food. Just the stuff we use every week and can actually save money on. All you really need is a computer or smart phone and most coupons are at your finger tips. My favorite right now is coupon.com.

4. Addressing Debt

Most of the debt we have at this point are my student loans. That is a hefty payment that comes out of my account every month. I also have a credit card that keeps eating me alive every month. We will need to address my student loan payments and any options we might have to consolidate further now that we are married. And of course, getting rid of that credit card debt once and for all.

5. Monthly Rent
Beginning in June, our rent for this teeny apartment will rise once again. For an apartment that has very little space, no storage and no washer/dryer, we feel we will be paying too much with this increase. Since we need to give our notice in May, we are starting to look for different options in the area. We are fairly certain we can find a much more affordable place that includes the things we are not getting now from our apartment.

The extra money we spend every month for a storage space will also be factored in the monthly budget for rent and will hopefully, help us save money monthly in the long run. You can also look at your monthly mortgage or any expenses you feel like you can chop down a little to help you save money on your monthly expenses.

If we all do these as newlyweds, I think we can really set ourselves up for our future and family's future.


What are your financial goals as a newlywed or for 2014? Anything else I can do to be a super saver?

A Very Married Christmas

Welcome to my picture recap of our first Christmas as hubby and wife ( yea I say hubby, I'm cool with it)

Christmas Eve was spent with the in-laws (father in law took some pics but haven't got my hands on the yet!)

After we left, we went drving around finding the best Christmas lights and possible houses we want to own one day. Which might be when we are 80, who knows.

Sad this is blurry but it was my favorite

Christmas Day we spent at home, just the two of us.Or should I say 3.

When in doubt, just sit on it.

Am I spoiled much?! Infinity necklace from Helzberg

Last year, our first Christmas living together, Brian wasn't sure of the whole stocking tradition. So I stuffed his and he might have not realized my tradition of the stocking shall we say. But this year, he got it. It's all about combining Christmas traditions together.

Hubby did a girl proud with his stocking stuffers

With our gifts, we said not spend too much. But I always like to spoil him because he never likes spending money and coincidentally I do. So I spend it on him. Plus, this guy let me buy my super nice camera. So he deserved a little something nice.

And I'd say he did pretty well too Side note: Pineapple for HIMYM fans. Couldn't resist.

Gifts from the fam

Jingle all the way and eggnog.

Awkward family photo award. She loves pictures.

Now bring on a birthday and new year!

meet Me Under the Mistletoe

This is our 8th Christmas together and as we celebrate our first as husband and wife, let me take you back through memory lane.

Circa 2010 with bangs.

Our first holidays together. Clearly we loved each other.

Christmas 2008.

First trip to NYC

 

Our first Christmas together as Mommy and Kitty

We like Christmas trees.

Second Christmas shenanigans.

2011 with our newest cousin!

My first place.

And somehow 2012 escaped us without a single Christmas picture? Could it be the wedding planning?

First Ornaments on the tree!

Christmas Tree!

Happy holiday season of love everyone!