It never gets easier. Easier to deal with? Yes.
It never hurts less when people ask you what your plans are for mother's day and you have to respond, "My mother passed away." And then the conversation becomes a little weird.
But I know I have healed when the conversations can turn positive again and when I don't have to hide out crying all day. I know even though I can't see my mother's resting place, she's in my heart.
And I still buy my mom a gift. Even if she isn't here, I purchase a donation to the American Cancer Society for the money that would have been spent on her. She loved this charity in honor of my grandmother. So I always like to do that for her.
Also, every year I look back on my posts from the previous year. This is why I love blogging. I can see how I felt last year and how I have grown. And I want to share with you my post from last year.
The past few weeks the emails, commercials and marketing tools for Mother's Day have been on and on.
Four years later and it isn't any easier to hear or see, "Shower your mom with love." Or "Make sure to let your mom know how much she means to you this Mother's day." Delete, mute, turn the corner.
I wouldn't say I'm bitter but I also wouldn't say I'm not. In a way I am bitter. Bitter that showering my mom with love means leaving flowers on her grave. Bitter that I can't call my mom on the phone or send her the flowers to show her how much she means to me. I just have to whisper it into the wind.
But I'm also not bitter of the fact that I still have amazing other women in my life. Look at these women I get to send mother's day cards to. Women who are there for me and support me.
And let's not forget I get to be a cat mommy to this cutie. Yes, I said that.
You can read the full post
here.
And if you are asking what you can do for someone that celebrates mother's day without a Mom or Father's DAy without a day...the answer is just be there. Be there for them whether it's a phone call, card or a quick text just to make them smile about something. Or picking up the phone when they call because you know they might be having a rough day.
It's the little things that mean the most.
And I know someday I will have children of my own to celebrate this special day with where I will be able to tell them all about their wonderful grandma in Heaven.
