20 year old Krista

Monday, June 25, 2012

So I stumbled across this interesting giveaway at 20sb. You are supposed to write a letter to yourself five years ago. I wasn't sure whether to participate but I'm so glad I did. In a way, this letter was therapeutic for me. Hope you enjoy! ps. this will get deep

Dear 20 year old Krista,

(Still as fun as ever)

In a few days, you will finally find out what is wrong with your knee and it looks like surgery is a week away. Trust me, it's worth it. But start wearing some Dr. Scholl's for Her now to prevent any problems. And be prepared for knee to swell like no other every once in awhile.

Be careful with the crutches. They are dangerous and require some skill. Don't try to take stairs with them days after you have surgery. Take up that offer to have someone come help you during the day otherwise you will end up with a sprained ankle which then leads to another fall where you pull your shoulder. And then years of ankle pain. Save yourself the trouble.

This time will also be known as your chubby year. But you will work it off in the next few months with physical therapy and limited alcohol due to the pain meds. And you will forever compare yourself to this semesters pictures to make sure you aren't hitting that chubby stage.

The next 4 months will be hard but unfortunately, not the worst of what's to come in the next 5 years. You will get through it and will have some amazing friends by your side along the way. Some will come and some will go, but the ones that stay are the ones that will get you through your darkest hours when the times become really tough. And they will. But trust me when I say, it actually turns out pretty ok. Just might have to break a few things first and yell a whole lot;)

Only 6 months until 21! And even though you have the drinking down, it becomes even more fun with bars and nightclubs. Always remember those glasses of water before bed to ward off the hangovers. And  trust me, try beer again. It will save you a ton a cash that would help when you leave school. Because you will have student loans to pay and they just don't go away. Your 21st year will be a fun one! And the year you will always look back on with fondness.

Cherish the summer spent home with mom because your crippled self can't go very far. Cherish watching Ghost Whisperer and Two and a Half Men. Always remember to thank her for helping you out the last 5 months because it wasn't an easy job. I mean, you were a bum that slept on the pull out for at least 2 months. that she chauffeured around.  Tell her everyday you love her and call her just because.
Keep talking to her about AXiD because when you give her those letters in May, she won't stop bragging about how happy they make her and how she wants to wear them whenever she can. And they will accompany her to heaven.

The plans you have for yourself at this moment are far from where you will be. But it will be ok. Times will be tough and you will be somewhere that makes you face everything with new meaning. You will know who to turn to for support and help. You will have an amazing boyfriend(eventual fiance) that lets you deal with your grief and gets you through the toughest day. Living with your sisters might prove to be hard in the next few months but they will be your healers when you just need to forget sometimes.

You will graduate with the most important person not there but when the sun shines, she will be there. It will be a tough day that you can't wait to get through. And sometimes you will look back and remember how you felt that day and how far you have come with your grief. She will also be missing when you move into your first apartment but bringing her things helps you feel close. She won't be your first call when you are engaged  but you have your whole family and friends to share in your joy.

You will become a stronger person than you are today and stronger than you ever thought you could be. Life will come at you fast but just remember it will get better. And it's your future self talking, not some person who says it over and over. I have lived it. You have an amazing fiance, family and the absolute best friends that deal with your different life structure. And above all, you will be happy and thankful for everything in your life. It might be a different plan, but it isn't a too shabby one.

And how could I forget to mention, that cat you've always wanted? She will come into your life just when you need her. She will be the cutest part of your life. Get ready for the ride the next 5 years!

This post is submitted as a part of the 20SB 5th Birthday Blog Carnival, sponsored by GlassesUSA.com.Submit your own post here.


  1. Aww, reading this made me tear up. I just lost my dad last year and it's been the hardest thing I've ever had to go through. I really relate to missing them in the big moments in life. <3

    1. It is definitely hard some days but looking back I know it is getting better. But there will always be that void where my mom and your dad will always be missing. Thanks for stopping by!

  2. Beautiful letter! :) *hug*

    1. Thank you :) Really helps to write it out sometimes. Thanks for stopping by!


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