Let's face it. Babies can be a little bit intimidating and scary. It's a huge change to your body, your life and your marriage. Your whole lifestyle changes along with your bank account. It would be strange if I didn't have some fears going into this.
I love sleep. Without enough sleep, I am a slight cranky pants. And babies do not allow a lot of that. There are some days where I wake up from 6 hours of sleep and feel like I can't function and struggle getting dinner on the table. How am I going to do all of this with even less sleep?
Ouch. I know I want to breastfeed as long as I can and I hope I can. But if I can't how will I feel about that? Will I let the fear of breastfeeding in public stop me from doing it?
I've heard about them. It's the judging, it's the new stage of life that maybe I need a friend for and might not have, it's not being sure if I have this whole thing together without other mom's giving me "the look." Will I find my place where I am supposed to as a mom?
Doing it without my mom.
Obviously, Brian is going to be an amazing father and help me out and support me. But there's something about a daughter having her mom there help her with her baby. And I won't have that help. I won't have that person to be completely vulnerable with, who will baby me when I'm being more of a baby than my own baby.
Right now, we enjoy our cozy, little, rented condo. It works for us, but I am not fully sure how a baby would work here. Yes, we have an extra room that it could sleep in, but my concern is the space. I already feel like me and Brian are on top of each other. Add a baby then what? Will it also derail our savings for a house? Or should we make sure we have the house before a baby is even thought about?
I'm responsible for this tiny little human.
And that's a huge thing. A huge deal. I am solely responsible for making sure this baby grows right, is nourished right the first few months and for making sure it grows up the proper way.
After talking some of these fears out over a couple glasses of wine, I have heard that I will never be fully prepared the first time. It's a first time mom thing. I will learn and will be able to take care of this tiny baby. But...still...all of the above.
Have you had these fears?