This was actually a change of pace for me because when the going gets tough, I usually write about it. But this time, I knew I needed to just step back, take a breather, deal with the tough stuff and have a little fun along the way. It was important for me and my sanity. And goes to show Instagram can only tell one story. Come along for the whole story.
My husband lost his job at the beginning of June. We knew this was coming for a few months as his school he worked for was shutting down. In a way we were prepared, but when the time came, we were not prepared. He wanted to find something he really wanted to do and I understood. But one income is not the easiest adjustment to make. We also had to adjust to different roles and it benefited me he likes to do the dishes ;) Luckily, he found a job within a few months (that he enjoys!) but the fear of the unknown and our future was a topic that was a little scary for us for a few months and needing to nurture our marriage through it was really important.
My grandma has been in and out of the hospital since June and is now in an assisted living facility. It was a roller coaster trying to figure out what was going on with her and what the next course of action would be for her. It's phone calls to a far away sister. Phone calls to a dad who doesn't love the phone but enjoys a good text from time to time. And phone calls trying to talk with my Gram when I can, when she is able to. It's still something I am dealing with and appreciate any good thoughts thrown her way.
Me. Let's talk. It's something I pushed aside for awhile, thought I would work my way through it. I have anxiety. Not the normal, butterflies in my stomach kind. The kind where I wake up in the morning worried about being late, thinking (for hours) if someone saw me trip down the stairs, what will happen if I can't turn into this parking spot. I avoid certain routes because I'm nervous. I ask a billion questions about plans we have so I know exactly what is going to happen to be prepared. I avoid large groups of people occasionally because it's too overwhelming for me.
Talking to my husband in depth was the first step. His job loss and my grandma and everything else all at once happened, I think brought it out even more. He needed to understand just a little bit more. And he does. I talked to one of my best friends about it and just getting it out in the open and seeing what my next steps would be was a breath of fresh air. I finally felt like I wasn't the only one who was trying to deal with this. I have support and help.
Was that a lot to handle in one little blog post? That's where I've been. I am starting to breathe a little easier these days and hope to make it back here to deal with the fun that can be had in blog world. Because it is fun and I wanna come back!