After all of that, you looked amazing. The dress fit flawlessly and you pranced and danced all night, glowing in your new marriage and hot body. Because you are supposed to drop weight to be beautiful, hot on your wedding day, right? But after the wedding, after the pounds make their way back, comes a new body image struggle.
First, the honeymoon comes and all you want to do is eat carbs, french fries and all the fruity drinks. Your honeymoon is a celebration, a different universe where calories and pounds don't count. You worked hard for this body and a few days of bad eating habits won't change that.
Until the scale alarms you that you added those last 5 pounds back on when you return. You gasp. You cringe. Then remember, Mr. Stomach Flu helped you get there. In your eyes, it's a basic zero out. Still the same weight and you feel great. There is no way you can lose that amazing body that made you feel so amazing on your wedding day. But just in case, you go on a 3 day juice cleanse just to be sure.
Flash forward 4 months. Before you know it, you are up a good 6-10 pounds and that dress barely zips past your waist. You aren't quite sure if you want to try to make it fit by not eating or grab the nearest plate of brownies. And yes, I've tried mine on multiple times this past year to judge my weight gain. It was a good time to do a 7 day diet to lose a few pounds again.
The year anniversary rolled around. It was a tough pill to swallow that just a year later I had packed on a few extra pounds that were not welcome and not sitting well on my barely 5 foot frame. It made me feel gross, not pretty and beautiful. I felt gross for letting myself get to this place.
These are the pounds I see when I pull at my love handles. Pounds I see when I look at my floppy stomach. Pounds I see when I pour my now plumper booty into my jeans.
This past year, I have agonized over my weight. My new frame that I am fitting into as a new wife. I have tried new diets, tried new pills and just plain tried to kick these pounds away. All I could think about was how unhealthy I had become and what kind of wife that made me all because I had gained a few pounds in the wrong places. I didn't feel like my pretty wedding day wife self. And looking at these pictures, that's all I wanted back.
Wait just a minute.
Who gave these few extra pounds the power to make me feel not hot or pretty? Who gave these extra pounds the power to make me feel think I wasn't that happy wife from a year ago?
Instead, these pounds are because I cooked homemade meals for my husband most nights the past year. And the nights I didn't cook we ordered in and watched our favorite shows over some laughs. These pounds are because we spent less time exercising and more time enjoying each other. These pounds are the signs of a good first year of marriage where we enjoyed nights out with friends, yogurt dates and lots of sushi.
After you struggle for a year trying so hard to look your best on your wedding day, it can be hard to look back a year later and see the pounds have come back. Especially, when most of the time it was more crazy diets, crazy workouts instead of a healthy lifestyle. You feel like you failed yourself, your new husband and the future. It seems like an uphill battle from here on out.
Instead of looking back a year ago at your supposed "hot" self with the whittled waist and barely there love handles, look at yourself this year. After a year of marriage and how you sacrificed a few pounds for a happy, comforting first year of marriage. A marriage you had to nurture in the first year and that meant with date nights and skipped gym appointments. And for the record, I am sure your new husband still thinks you are beautiful even if all you see are flaws.
Look at those few extra pounds from the past year as a sign of a healthy start to what will be a wonderfully fulfilling marriage. And enjoy all the margaritas and sushi that you want.
Linking up with Juliette from The Other Juliette and Amber from Mr. Thomas and Me for body talk.
So freaking beautiful. I love this and relate to it exactly...especially the shock at getting home from your honeymoon to find those pounds snuck up so fast!
ReplyDeleteGreat post, girl! I think most girls can definitely relate to this!
ReplyDeleteAw thank you. It's been an interesting year trying to compare myself to myself on my wedding day. But I wouldn't take back eating all that delicious food and drinks on the honeymoon!
ReplyDeleteThank you! The year after the wedding you are supposed to gain weight, it's a fact. Because you're happy and actually eating!
ReplyDeleteGirl, yes! I totally gained weight my first year of marriage. TOTALLY. I realized that I wasn't doing the whole weight loss thing in a healthy sustainable way... Something that just makes you crash at some point. It's tricky to eat with a husband too, they eat LOTS and Jason's 6 foot body needs more calories more than my 5 foot one... So, learning. So much learning.
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure you read my mind with this post. I've been feeling the same way...like I let myself go after the wedding and I don't want to feel like that. My husband loves and thinks I'm beautiful just the way I am. I need to stop with the negative body image and be happy. Working out makes me FEEL better and that's all I need...it shouldn't be about the number on the scale. Thanks for sharing this post!
ReplyDeleteIt was so easy to lose it when the wedding was coming for motivation. Now, I have zero. And frozen yogurt dates sounds so much better anyway. And I hear you with guys eating way more. He tends to load my plate to his size portions.
ReplyDeleteEvery time I tell my husband how I hate my weight gain, he asks me what I'm talking about because I'm beautiful. But it becomes about the fact that I know I haven't been being healthy. So maybe I will knock a few of those off once I start my healthy kick. And glad you enjoyed it :)
ReplyDelete