Tragedy Glasses

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

An event resulting in great loss and misfortune.

It is said that when a tragedy occurs, you are never the same. From that day going forward who you are changes as you recover. Life is now "the me before" and "the me after." I call this, the tragedy glasses. 

Two years ago I was a different me. Losing my mother so suddenly and unexpectedly turned my world upside down and forever changed me. The days following were unreal and I kind of just floated through it. There were the phone calls, emails, facebook messages and occasional visits that featured the words, "I'm so sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you," etc. etc. The words and sentiments were felt and appreciated but I echoed every sentiment in my own head. I was sorry for my loss. I couldn't believe it happened. I was thinking about me and how I would deal with this. 

The next few months and year were filled with many tears. It was getting through the anger and resentment that it was my mom. My mom was gone and wouldn't be there for all the important moments in my life. No words would bring her back. There were only pictures left to remind me of my mom's beautiful smiling face. Unexplained moments would be filled with sadness and regret. 

The pain will never fade. Time will just continue creeping on. But it becomes easier to deal with as more time passes. It is easier to look back on the times with my mom and smile instead of cry. It is easier to be thankful for the great relationship and time I had with my mom than be angry that she is gone. I have become stronger and more resilient to life around me. The little things are just really tiny specs to me. I don't feel the need to dwell on something so silly when there are far more important things in life.

I look around, breathe and take in what I do have in life. It might not be the best of all situations but it is definitely not the worst. I go to a job everyday. have a place to live and have the greatest support system. Life is not ideal. It's a fact of life. Just have to go with it.

You also realize and affirm who your true support system is. When you are down and out, look around to see who is there to pick you up. Those are the people you want around in your life for many years to come. Those are the relationships you want to build on and foster. Not the occasional acquaintances that make an appearance once in awhile. This is something that comes out of tragedy.

Just how silly life is sometimes and how people go through it. This is what I see through my tragedy glasses.

-There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than 10,000 tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love. ~ Washington Irving

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