The Feline Rules

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

I stumble upon the most random things sometimes. Yesterday, I found this. It so fits my spoiled kitties life.


Some of my favorites:

DOORS: Do not allow closed doors in any room. To get door opened, stand on hind legs and hammer with forepaws. Once door is opened, it is not necessary to use it. After you have ordered an outside door opened, stand halfway in and out and think about several things. This is particularly important during very cold weather, rain, snow or mosquito season. Swinging doors must be avoided at all costs.

BATHROOMS: Always accompany guests to the bathroom. It is not necessary to do anything. Just sit and stare.


A: When supervising cooking, sit just behind the left heel of the cook. You cannot be seen and thereby stand a better chance of being stepped on and then being picked up and comforted.

C: For knitting projects or paperwork, lie on the work in the most appropriate manner so as to obscure as much of the work or at least the most important part. Pretend to doze, but every so often reach out and slap a pencil or knitting needle. The worker may try to distract you; ignore it; remember, the aim is to hamper work. Embroidery and needlepoint projects make great hammocks in spite of what humans may tell you

WALKING: As often as possible, dart quickly and as close as possible in front of the human, especially on stairs, when they have something in their arms, in the dark, and when they first get up in the morning. This will help their coordination skills.

If you own a cat, you too will find this easy to understand and equally funny. Because it is SO TRUE. Love my Lily but it's true, she runs the house. The queen.

~These aren't my thoughts, they're my cat walking on the keyboard.~

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