Not Being Afraid of the Unknown

Yup, talking about a new year in February. 

The New Year brings hope and excitement to many. Counting down into the new year where you hope to be a better person, have a better job, look better, etc. It's full of hope. It's full of positivity.

That was me New Year's Eve 2008. I saw 2009 as one of my best years yet. I was going to graduate. Get a new job in the corporate world. I had hopes of a bright future, a great future.

12 days later my world came crashing down. I lost my mom in the blink of an eye. That hope was gone. It was replaced with darkness, sadness. I did graduate but went back home to an empty home.

When the clock counted down to enter 2010, I was terrified. Terrified what the new year would bring again. I couldn't have hope when less than a year before I had so much hope that was taken away.

Something I feared every New Year is something that many people struggle with every day. Having hope. Having faith in the unknown.

I focus a lot on what could go wrong instead of having hope it will go right.

I fear the unknown instead of embracing it. It's what fuels my anxiety. And it has to go. 

I have to embrace that whatever happens is exactly what is supposed to happen. That God is in control. 

There is a lot to be hopeful for, have hope and faith in. Even if we are on a shaky start this year doesn't mean great things aren't on their way for the 11 other months. I have to let my worries go. I am not in control. And that's ok.

Here's to embracing the unknown. Here's to me trying to actually do that!